Answer to: "why didn't you hear it from ME?"

[Flight]

Things from Michelle seem somwhat conflicting with Sandy's advice. On the one hand is all this talk of listening and validating and then this going dark and if she starts talking about the relationship just walk away and don't listen. Which is it?

I imagine there may be some middle ground, don't take abuse, act confident and hold your boundaries, but also listen and validate. If you are trying to rebuild a connection, you have to do little things that help you connect. Perhaps it is the depth to which the spouse is wayward? Maybe if too far gone they aren't going to respond to the little "talks" and "touches"? How do you reconcile being tough and confident and a "real man" while still being loving?