Thanks so much Life. That's exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to hear some hope.
Feeling a bit better. Have had some dark moments, but it's lifting. Worn out, but excited to live free of this crazy. His crazy infects me like none other.
Exercised the past two days to get back on track.
Checked in with my coach yesterday and received some positive feedback. Joined a support group for women with ADHD.
Listening to a lot of sermons.
A bit surprised by the love that is still there under all the hurt. I guess it's not surprising considering this person was a major part of my life since I was 12.
It's also been an awakening to the abandonment struggles I still have and fears of not being able to cut it "officially" alone. I can profoundly feel the hole in my soul that only God and I can fill. Facing it though. Not running from it. Have also had some clarity about our situation here. D12's unhappiness here is a huge burden on me because it makes me the focus of her life which is too much with all the other responsibilities.
Anyway... all in all, learning more about me, about the girls and about what we need to move forward.
Had some interaction with Matt. He is convinced he looks great. "I think I look pretty effing good!" Any mention of his getting help is greeted with some strong resistance.
Apparently, losing his house, wife, kids, pets and life isn't enough to rock him out of his denial. At least not today. There's nothing more I can do. Letting him go.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
