Why is everyone on this thread so convinced that she's playing me?
B/c we can see the forest.
In the very beginning of your stitch, I thought, "This guy is going to make it. He's going to show how it's done". You started posting on other threads and giving excellent advice.
But your WW continued to challenge the boundaries, and when the time came for you to walk out that door......what did you do? You started all over with the same old excuses that you had been using (that's when I told you I was dizzy). I felt you had missed the right time (but that's just me). I think you knew it in your heart, but you just couldn't do it.
So, here you are in a worse shape and still using the excuse of her feeling victimized if you leave. (I think every woman here is probably thinking........"Oh yeah, the ole damsel in distress thing......... Yep, she's playing him"). Let me ask you something. Do you honestly believe your WW is an exception? Let me answer from what I see in your posts. YES! Of course you do. Every newcomer man believes his W is different from the others. She is fragile, she needs you, she'll be so distraught and feel like a victim if you leave. There is clearly something wrong with her thinking. She's messed up. . She is special b/c she is your W. She is not an exception.
Look, when we say she's playing you, that's not to mean she sits around all day plotting how she can intentionally make a fool out of you or add more pain. That is not really her focus. Her focus is the OM. Whatever happens to you is simply the result of everything else (is her WW way of thinking). The WW plots how to make contact with OM. How to get OM interested in her again........more interested in her than his W. She plots about how they can meet alone and be together intimately, without being discovered. She keeps one foot in the M for one reason......and one reason ONLY. Security!!!
Sure it is horrible for you to think your sweet little W could be this deceitful. Your denial has imprisoned you in this hellish M for how long now? I didn't see it at first, and I am certainly not experienced in the area of co-dependency, but I am wondering if that is the foundation of your fear. I think your W is plenty smart enough, and strong willed enough to survive more than you give her credit. It's you, razorback. It's you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
