have I been making mistakes too long part3

[tkdmme]

You are all right. That comment is from fear. She does not need me and I know this. I just wish she did. What I really meant was that she needs me financially. But this isn't the case either. She would have to downgrade her lifestyle but she would be fine.
The truth is im starting to looks at her differently. I know this is a roller coaster but lately I see only negatives when I look at her. I know this is not the way to be but until lately all I saw when I looked at her was her everything I want and cant have. I guess this is part of detaching. I still want my M to be reinvented or else I wouldn't still be on this site looking for support and answers. I am worried however that I may get so far detached that I wont find my way back. She is still my W and I love her and the family we have built together. Im just slowly letting go of the old M.

Last night was good. No relationship talks. Well, she did complain about the room she is sleeping in. She says that I wake her when im getting ready for work. I wanted to say, no one told you to live in that room and tough luck if you get woke up when im getting ready for work. I help my breath and said " I will try to be more quite in the mornings".

I decided to take my ring off for good this time. It was doing nothing but reminding me of my failure. I was still holding on to something that is gone. I think if things eventually work out, I will buy to new rings.