My belief is that we the LBS's do not become the WAS. We are here on this board because we love our wives/husbands so much that we are prepared to drop our veils and work on ourselves. For most of us, we have never had the idea of walking away from our spouses, to have affairs, or to file for divorce. Most of us, just didn't know or fully understand how bad/or withdrawn to the marriage we had become. In saying that, we the LBS, do a lot of work on ourselves for our marriage. There is a time in our life we have to accept, it is not going to work. The marriage is over. I was like that. Look at my history. I spent a lot of time wondering what happened, how it happened, why, how to fix it, how to fix me. I did all those things, it took time, I got it wrong lots of times. But it got to a point where I could not do it anymore, it was ruining my life, my future. I missed the holding hands, the cuddling, the human touch. I missed talking personal stuff to the person I have spent 25 years with. There came a time, when I decided I needed to be that happier person, sharing those things with another person. The wife had gone, she split all our assets, moved away with the OW. Our kids believed we had divorced ages ago. No contact from the wife since ever. So I decided to do online dating, using the DB principles, validating etc. Met two women on the same day, morning and afternoon coffee dates. The morning date, I knew wasn't for me, but it was nice to have that date. The second date was the one. I have now been dating her for over 18 months and as of last weekend, we are engaged. Am I a WAS? No, never. I didn't leave the wife, I put a huge amount of effort into working on the marriage, to save the marriage, to work with the W's and my issues. She gave up and never looked back. Me? I am looking forward.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.