And now I know why I struggle! I want instant results And it doesn't happen! Tonight he came to bed early said he was going to watch tv in bedroom so I went and laid in bed also went to put my arm over him (stupid me) he moved it I put it back and not another word! I then became anxious becAuse I knew I did the wrong thing and now I'm anxious and sad that was his reaction even though I knew it would be and I knew I was wrong! Listen to the birdie in my head next time! I also now think I have an idea about why I push my emotions down because as I sit here feeling hurt sad scared it's even worse than just pushing them aside pretending like I don't care or getting angry Instead I get to sit here sad I've lost my old relationship scared I will never be with him again scared I won't be able to change Me scared because I feel like I am giving up control scared if I give up fighting to change this relationship it means neither of us will fight for it hurt because of rejection tired of worrying fighting and only getting pushed further away! Yep a whole slew of emotions right now and it makes me very uncomfortable!
