Then when things were just ok and not great anymore my father got sick and then died. I turned very angry, I decided that H wasn't worth the bother. I would look at all my old DB stuff and say "too bad" I didn't really care about much, not my marriage, or any other aspect of my life. I took care of the kids, but that was about it. My H started living a single life again and I got angry at him for that. Things continued to deteriorate. then one day he moved into the guest room. We didn't talk for a week and then he asked for a D.
It seems to me that you shut down emotionally and H felt like he wasn't a #1 to you in the M so he turned away after being rejected so many times. Can you blame him? This isn't about H's MLC. It is about HOW you coped after your father's death. I can understand how grieving comes in many forms and timelines vary from a person to person.
I think it's time for a come to Jesus talk with your H and own up to your role in pushing him away. And seek a MC who specializes in grief counseling for sometimes it can tear apart a M.
