"ended up in me withdrawing and being quiet once every 1.5 to 2 years."
This sounds like you're leaving something out. I don't know any couple that has that few disagreements.
We very rarely fought, we would have simple disagreements every now and then but we either laughed them off or one of us would give in knowing the other would give in on the next one - very reciprocal. We agreed on most stuff anyways and didn't sweat the little stuff.
"It was a simple misunderstanding that resulted in me saying to her " an example of how I am a low priority" she lost it on me in front of the kids and unleashed some obvious pent up frustration."
What do you mean by a "simple" misunderstanding. It obviously wasn't simple to her.
We were at a hotel, I wanted to walk to a store with the family before it closed in 20 mins, wife and 2 daughters went upstairs me and other daughter waited downstairs. I thought they were going to join us she thought we were going on our own. I waited downstairs until the store closed then went upstairs a little disappointed and made the comment.
"It was mostly around helping around the house, doing more with her, communicating better."
Can you elaborate? What specifically were you told to work on?
The C was quite good. He met with us separately then together. He said that our issues were very simple and that we agreed on most things and were on the same plane, very well matched. He said "you are the easiest couple that I have seen in a long time" based on what we each had told him and how it all matched up. I took it very seriously. He gave us each a list of things to think about and work on. My things were to communicate better, not "sulk" but rather say "Im not happy about something, I don't want to talk about it now but how about in 2 hours we go for a walk and discuss" This type of thing rarely got to this point - again, maybe once every year to 2 years. Also, little things like working together around the house not one at a time - ie cleaning up after dinner together, making lunches together. I took on all the laundry so she could be with the girls as well. I started telling her I loved her more, she was beautiful more, I "checked in" regularly to make sure it was all going ok and if there was anything I could work on.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
