Azzork, I guess I'm not sure. To see how she is doing? I know. Terrible. To see if she is packing bags? To see how kids are doing? I don't know. I am having a hard time with detaching, giving space and time. I know I need to do that. I know. I'm fighting myself.
I not sure this helps you but I'll share it with you. My wife said she was going to move into our sitting room of the master bedroom. I begged, cried and pleaded with her to stay in the bed. I said it would be the first step towards her moving out, yada yada yada. Guess what, she is sleeping better, I'm sleeping better. It may lead to another step but right now it seems to be an okay choice. Of course I want her in the bed next to me but I got a better chance at the lottery then her sleeping with me now.
Instead of her moving out, maybe she could sleep in another room. you stay in the master bedroom, she wants out of the marriage so let her move to another bed. Be nice help her move and try to keep her in the house.
Azzork, I guess I'm not sure. To see how she is doing? I know. Terrible. To see if she is packing bags? To see how kids are doing? I don't know. I am having a hard time with detaching, giving space and time. I know I need to do that. I know. I'm fighting myself.
True Azzork. True Cadet. Thanks again. I'm re-reading rules. DB book will be here tomorrow after work. I had it sent to my mom's house. Keeping it away from the W, as suggested. My W works overnight tonight. I plan on spending time with kids and reading on here when they go to bed. I have been keeping a journal as well.
Lol she hasn't been bitchy. Just cold as ice and distant.
Can someone please help me? Why is it important for me to retain the master bedroom? Should I be the one to stay at home if she says she wants a separation?
Yes it is important to have the MB and yes you should have your home. By staying put you are being strong.
They are physical boundaries, and your W is the wayward one. She takes the consequences of her behaviour.
In addition you are going to be the stronger more stable parent for your children. The one who is clear of emotional fog, but not turmoil at this point, and you are the one most capable of rationally running the home. In other words, you are not in bars drinking all night and being late home. That isn't your lifestyle choice.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 08/17/1510:15 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Why is it so imperative that I don't leave? Why is it important for me to stay in the master bedroom? I don't understand the significance.
I gave my point of view about it in the WW threads. (Have you read them?). WW's have a sense of entitlement, and when it comes to comfort, finances, the bedroom, the house, car, etc., she wants the best and expects the man to take the less attractive option. As long as you act as if you are the guilty party, she will not respect you as a man, or the head of the home. You are in the role of leader, protector, provider, husband, and father. You are the one who is trying to save the M. That is what your children, and wife, needs to see set before them. Do not demote your position by moving out of the marital bedroom and/or home.
I know I say a lot about respect, but a woman cannot have warm, sexual, loving feelings toward a H she doesn't respect. That's just the way we are made!
Please do not think that giving over to her in these things will impress her feelings for you. It will work against you. The hardest job for her is getting the H to move out. Once she gets him out of the house, she feels she has won and wastes no time in moving OM in to take his place.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
