Reading your posts, the BC pills, the OM, all the 'she is Bottom line, you are the one living like this, in an open marriage and it frustrates you ... you are scared of actually telling her ENOUGH and walking, heck I would bet a paycheck she would actually respect you for that move.
I think that's a concept I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around...that she'd respect me for making a decision to walk away. I think she'd just see it as further victimization...that I messed up her life and then just washed my hands and walked away...
Not that I think she's right, just I think that's how it would play.
I'll block out all that white noise in your questions and home in on the real issue here like a homing pigeon.
