If Sunny view holds good and she knows her stuff.V
Thanks, V. But actually, I've been thinking about this. I think you are on the right track expressing how you feel about this, with the exception of adding in the "fault" of it. That's not part of this. However, Ep, I'm going to challenge you on the why you feel this way. Do you really think it's not in the best interest of D4 to switch off, or do you just think it's not fair he has to because of H's actions?
When STBX and I were about to S, he proposed a week with mom a week with dad kind of split. I was horrified and immediately rejected that. (No way you are keeping from my kid a week at a time on a regular basis.) Then I proposed that he have every other Friday and Saturday night. I proposed two nights of every 14. He agreed. And then I thought about it. And realized that as much as I wanted to believe that it was in her best interest to be with mommy in her own home almost all the time.....it simply wasn't true. She needed dad, too, no matter where he lived. So I swallowed hard, and went back and proposed a different split, five nights in 14, and that's what we do now.
I'll admit I had to talk to my IC about it to get through it, and she asked me what in D12's life was going to be different just because she spend some nights with dad in his apartment. And truth is, it's not much. She has the same friends, the same school, the same after school activities. She has her own room in STBX's apartment, he's made it very nice for her, keeps her supplied with the things she needs, and I make sure her school uniforms stay straight between the two closets.
So, I'm challenging you, ep, to think about this, hard. Push your comfort zone to define exactly what's going to be bad about S's life if this doesn't go your way. Not, it's not fair that you disrupt his life because you left kind of things. Concrete things. Name them. Go.
