Thanks Starsky, I really appreciate all your wisdom over these past months.
So I'm going to ask...these are devil's advocate questions, so take them in that spirit.
Why is everyone on this thread so convinced that she's playing me? She's supremely messed up, confused, angry at me (for good and not-so-good reasons), sure, but that's not the same as being deliberately deceptive.
If she is playing me, then to what end? She could simply ask for a D right now and I'd give it to her. Why the games? What is she accomplishing right now besides just making it harder to R?
I'm just trying to make sure I'm considering everything here.
I am sure Starsky and the vets will have a much better answer for you here ... I read your sitch and just follow along. IMHO she plays you because you allow her to. As Starsky I think said it early on you tend to go Passive-Passive-Passive-then Agressive. I only point this out because I was guilty of this behavior too.
She will not change her ways because honestly ... no need to, she will lose nothing while you constantly show no consistency in the boundaries you have set up and allow her to .. yes play you as she has this entire time.
Reading your posts, the BC pills, the OM, all the 'she is really pushing my limits' talk (because you allow her to IMHO) ... you get upset at the violations then a few days go by and its like you are in denial all over again, defending her, giving her the benefit of the doubt .... more driven from fear of actually doing what you need to do if I had to guess.
Bottom line, you are the one living like this, in an open marriage and it frustrates you ... you are scared of actually telling her ENOUGH and walking, heck I would bet a paycheck she would actually respect you for that move.
When will it be enough? You deserve better ... your W is not going to cut OM loose and work on the M because she can still give you breadcrumbs that you see as stuffed turkeys. No speeches you have will sink in anymore .... she has been 3 steps ahead of you this entire time .... I would have called the bluff on the BC pills and had her set up a Dr appt for us both to go to, just her facial reaction would most likely have called her on that one.
