Need advice for a WW who left Part 3

[dwh15]

As I think more about my sitch and the long, sorted history of WW, I really wonder if there is any chance we could ever be a complete family again. I mean, the trouble started almost 5 years ago, with what I now know to be the very first OM, in spite of her repeated denials. Since then, it has been a series of affairs, at least 4 OM that I can confirm, and possibly more I don't know about.

Woah! Well it is always possible, it's your choice when you want to quit standing, not hers. You can never have the same relationship you had before and you shouldn't seek that, your goal is a new relationship with a new you and new her. But 4 OM's, wow. It sounds like she has a lot of work to do to sort through why that is going on.

Umm...yeah. When I say 4, it includes the current OM who she is living with. There were 2 others in the past 5 years who I know about for sure, and another which I can't confirm but have strong suspicions based on what I have heard from friends who know both me and WW.

It's definitely a messed up situation. I mean, who does that? My W clearly has issues and is looking for something to make herself happy. I really don't think she was totally convinced on moving out this time, but she was getting pressure from OM to do it, and she finally caved. Funny enough, she was on the verge of leaving him just a few weeks ago, because she didn't feel he was giving her enough attention. Then he gave her the ILYBNILWY speech. So it's not looking like a sturdy foundation for anything long term, but who knows. She's sort of stuck now, since I made it very clear I wouldn't be letting her just march back into my house every time she hit a rough patch.

It's all so sad, since my W was NOTHING like this when we met. Even her own sisters say that. Nobody recognizes her. I hope and pray for her, that something hits her hard enough to recognize the issues in herself and seek help. But at this point, I think it's just as likely she moves onto yet another OM as it is she would want to work on things with me. I've made that a personal line of mine that I will not cross - if she moves to another OM after this, I will be immediately filing and no looking back. Sometimes I feel crazy even hanging on now, knowing the history. My family and friends keep pushing, telling me to get over it, I'm so much better off w/o her, etc. The same drill everyone prob gets in these situations. I don't think anyone realizes the amount of hurt and pain you go through.

So, in spite of the nasty history, I'm hanging in for now. I know that the outlook is bleak, but I'm doing it for me, my kids, and even my poor W, who I feel has a very rough life ahead if she continues down this path. I trust in God's plan and know that things will work out how they are met to be.