Finally asking for help:

[Solo15]

Yeah, basically it got really abusive after BD. I spent 10 months trying to work things out. I figured out that she cheated on me towards the end of that time and I chose to separate. I was trashed as a human being, and was near the point of self destruction after what I'd endured.

After we separated, I made a plan to help her into a new life. It required that we sell the family home. The kids were to have primary residence with me at my parents house, and we would split custody between us while she got a job and worked to go to school while I paid for her apartment.

This arrangement brought her into a huge depression, and she wanted to get some space to help get her out of it. She wanted to visit a friend in Europe for a month during the summer. I needed some space too, and at the time if felt ok.

Shortly after our 16th anniversary, she called me and said she didn't want to sell the house, and that she would work to pay off our debts. I only had a few hours to decide, but I figured keeping the house would be less tough on the kids, and it would leave a door open for us to be a family again sometime.

So yeah the house was empty for a month, I would just go out to mow the grass on the weekends. I shouldn't have left in hindsight, but separating has enabled me to get some help and healing. Thanks for checking in.