Confused and Unsure

[EMMess]

Thank you so much everyone for the support and advice.

So I made it to church felt good to sit and pray. I have been feeling good, though I have to be honest, I spent the weekend at my mom's house. It helped in detaching. Saw W sunday, she had asked me if I can take our S to get his haircut (don't know if I should have declined, and have her take him as she wants to be alone). She decided to spend the time at the barbershop with us, needless to say that makes me uncomfortable because when I see her I think of how much I would love to be with my W.

During mass she sends me a TM asking me if I can possibly pass by the pharmacy to get formula and also a bottle of wine (again, don't know if I should have pushed back on this, and have her handle the errands). Needless to say, I ran the errands and left the formula and wine before leaving again to my mom's house.

Spent some times with my friends later on that day, so that was good, but drank too much. I am concern that I am using alcohol to numb myself more than I should.

I appreciate the advice about staying in the house, I am still thinking things through and your advice definitely help in determining the right approach.