She has yet to express what it is that makes her unhapoy. She has said she does not love me, is not attracted to me, does not feel intimate towards me, she said she feels detached. But, she said she can't pinpoint when and why. She is not sure how long she has felt this way. She has bottled up her feelings and they have accumulated over the years.
She may not know how to express it in such a way that would suit you. Not feeling in love, the loss of attraction, etc., are what's causing her to feel unhappy. One thing leads to another, and over time......it is not that easy to pinpoint when and why.
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I asked her to forgive me. I asked her to tell me when I say or do something she doesn't like.
It's not that simple. Not for her, anyway, b/c of the complexity and the time span of so much building up inside of her. She will have to make peace with it, if the two of you ever try to reconcile and have a happy MR, but it's not easy.
I understand you asking her to tell you when you do or say something she doesn't like. However, there are at least two sides of that coin. One side is that she may feel she's tried to do that in the past, but it didn't do any good.......and now she really does not care. The other side is that you would be trying to appease her with every deed and word. Eventually, you would either become a complete doormat or would resent her. However, I think I know how you meant it. Just don't expect anything from her.
One more thing about the part of her forgiving you of past mistakes. Even if she told you she forgave you, it doesn't mean her loving feelings would be restored. Forgiveness, alone, doesn't necessarily fix everything.
I am not picking on you or finding fault. I am just trying to help you see from her side. You asked for forgiveness, and I think that is wonderful, as long as you understand it may not change anything. And don't continue to ask for her forgiveness.
It is important that you not leave the master bedroom. It sounds as if she's leading up to suggesting it. Let her sleep in a different room, or on the couch.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
