Second .. you touched on it a bit ... about her not seeing you as a husband, not seeing you as anything ... I once had the same situation and a vet wisely told me .. better to be friend zoned over being placed in the A-hole husband zone .... that whole catching flies with honey thing .... most A's start off as what ?? Yup ... friends.
That's a very interesting thought, and I have considered it. I think that in a WAW sitch, being a friend isn't so bad. I agree 100% that a lot of A's start out as friendships. But if there is an OM involved, then I don't think you want to offer being friends, because that's exactly what most WWs want. You will be serving up that cake 24-7, while she asks you for money, favors, a shoulder to cry on, etc. All the while still happily hopping into bed with OM at the end of the day. I tried the friends thing with mine for a few weeks, and part of it was really nice, because we were having long phone calls, she started texting me all the time, and it felt like a good connection. But at the same time, she expected me to always put her needs ahead of my own, and would get upset when that didn't happen. Sandi has elaborated on this point a bunch in various threads, so I won't rehash but just FYI on the friends thing with a WW.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
