She does not want to feel differently. She thinks it would be "giving in".MINDREADING She said a few months back that she is not going to force herself to have feelings for me again. Everyday is a trial. As she shouldnt ... VAlidate here , feelings should never be forced.
On the bright side, I am getting better at focusing on my work. Also, I have regained my appetite. This is probably a bad thing because im actually down to my ideal weight.
This whole thing has turned my world upside down. I have always been a worrier and now I have really got something to worry about. My mind never leaves the situation totally although that is getting better too. Playing golf and getting out of the house is helping but I cant help but feel that im not doing something at home that she needs me to do.
I know that getting out helps me but I want to continue to work I have been doing on the house. I guess I need to find a healthy balance. Right now I think the best if for me to stay out as much as I can. This would limit our interactions and thus result in less tension at home. Any thoughts on how to balance GAL and life as a father. I have been including the kids in much of the GAL as I can. GAL is not just going out and doing things, its LIVING, I GAL'd just as much with my S as I did without him (shared custody at that time) We went fishing, kayaking, museums, movies, ... not sure how old your kids are but Geocaching is a blast ... S and I STILL do it.
I want to play golf today after work but im afraid she will see it as being an absent father. She fired you ... you can only CO-Parent ... at this point right .. you have to do YOUR own thing as she does Lets be honest, I don't think she sees me as anything at the moment anyway. I probablp should just stay out of the house as much as I can.
Caught up on your sitch a bit .. just wanted to toss a few things up on your wall and see if they make sense to you. This is the hardest thing I ever had to do but I am so thankful I was able to get through it.
First thing .. the drinking. I came from 2 alcoholic parents, Thing is ... sure you can drink and numb the pain, but I am telling you ... you will find DBing VERY hard as this takes ALL your wits ... heck even then we all backslide ... ad a shot here and a beer there .. dude you are not on the 'alert-5' ready to DB at a moments notice. YOUR Kids need you here ... your W might even need you. Trust me .. its a hard one to break but I would make that a BIG Goal to limit the amounts and the days I indulged.
Second .. you touched on it a bit ... about her not seeing you as a husband, not seeing you as anything ... I once had the same situation and a vet wisely told me .. better to be friend zoned over being placed in the A-hole husband zone .... that whole catching flies with honey thing .... most A's start off as what ?? Yup ... friends.
My advice .. continue GALing, more so with the kids ... you have to let her implode, hit bottom, she will have to truly figure out what she wants ... but there is little that can compare to a great father who is all about his kids.
