Should I respond to W's text about "Glad you came". Like I wouldn't come to his presents opening thing? She wanted me to RSVP to his party as well which I thought was werid. Again, I am his Mom, why do I have to RSVP to my sons birthday?
That was exceptionally well done! It also planted some good seeds for friendship w/ W, which is good even if it is just to be good co-parents & make those years as easy on both of you as possible.
I'm also glad that you had already arranged to support of a friend for afterwards. Very good job all the way around.
Bittersweet is for the time a great day, and given your W's recent behavior, quite a nice relief.
I'm so glad you got to have such a good day with your kids!
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Yes Heavy, you did great! Sounds like it went much better than most of your encounters with each other, and if the best you can hope for is to be friendly co-parents, it sure beats the alternative - an alternative I know all too well with my ex-husband, unfortunately.
No expectations, but no need to dispense with hope, either - not if you don't want to. At least not from all the things I'm reading. It's such a long, long road...
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
What happened to you girlfriend??!! You did GREAT with all of your interactions with W and the kids. I am so so proud of your DBing skills here. Way to go!
Heavy .. well done with this weekend, sounded like a positive exchange .. something to build on.
I just wanted to touch on the album thing ... she has brought that up often. My W just about this time last year was constantly bringing up pictures from Costa Rica that I had on a disc. Was our honeymoon (5 years after we were married). Around that time she had changed her back-pic on FB to a hotel we stayed at in Costa Rica .. left me scratching my head big time as she was all about D and OM. I think it was job who told me they like to hold on to things from the past ... even Mleighs sitch her H has a camera (but denies he took it) ... for whatever reason it does seem to be a desire of the MLCr to have something from the past to remind themselves they are actually human. I told W I would look, I assumed the disc was in storage but I may have backed it up on an old PC, was a few months she was on this like it was all sorts of important. Eventually it did die off and seems she forgot about it.
Please start a new thread. You have 105 postings/replies.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well thank you everyone for the positive accolades about the birthparty thing I was so nevous about.
A caveat, however, it was still very very akward. On the day of the party with all of his class mates, it was just so stiff feeling for me. Especially since she brought her two friends there that I was not expecting. I felt out numbered. These two friends used to be our friends, our two main friends. So there was that. I was polite but we didn't interact much. I didn't interact much with W at all either, just kept my distance and kept busy.
The next day, it was still very akward. I mean this is the woman who gave birth to my kids, the woman who shared every waking moment with for 20 years, the woman I married 3 times. And now, it's just silence.
However, maybe it's in the perspective that I should count the wins. We did not argue, she did not go into Monster mode, and it was peaceful. So I guess I will count those as a positive, even though they were small ones. Our S10 asked if we could all get together for a play date at the park to race his new cars. I just said "We'll see buddy, they sure are great cars". W had no comment.
I hope that one day the awkwardness dissapates. Maybe I should make that a goal too, actively work towards diminishing akwardness on my part and to be more "go with the flow" kind of person as long as it is within my boundaries.
Heavy, I think she needed those two friends there as moral support. It also sounded as though she was at ease with you (removing her make up) and didn't want you to so.
I think those are baby steps :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
