tkdmme, this is what I realized, THIS IS MY FRICKING CHANCE. It will not come in the future, it is now, this is what it looks like.
What YOU have to do is be the man you want to be. The vets here can help write the script and direct you but you and you alone have to act.
Remember you are doing this for you. You want to be the best tkdmme there is and this will not happen in one day. Just work on it right now, that's all there is.
Sorry if this seems harsh. I only want the best for you and your family.
