Wife says "NO" and acting like I have no rights

[Strongr]

Good morning.

I need advise here. I sought Counseling and it goes against DB and the strategies here. Here is what was suggested to do:

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Hi,

Sorry for the slow response.

I am so sorry to hear that she is going along with her mother and friends' suggestions, but at the end of the day she is actually going with her own desire to hurt you, do you know what I mean? These people are encouraging it, but the idea started in her mind, and she is running with it.

This is where I think you might turn things around--I think she wants to hurt you because she feels hurt by you (from the past), and it is very likely that you can appeal to her and make her heart melt. After all, someone who doesn't care about you would not spend the energy to be cold and hurtful, in fact if she was done with you and completely at peace with ending the relationship, she should act calm and peaceful towards you for the sake of the kids.

With that said, I think that if you apologize specifical ly for the things that hurt her the most, her heart would soften. I am not saying you hurt her on purpose, I am talking about her subjective perception about what happened.

For example if she thinks you were selfish and didn't think of her, your apology/plea would say something like "I was always thinking about you, and I am so sorry if I didn't show it". For example if she thought you were putting your pride and career first, say something like "you and the kids mean everything to me, without you and the kids, success would mean nothing, please don't ever think that my career was more important".
So on and so forth, I suggest you write a letter to her, preferably hand written, that apologizes and pleads for her to come back. Don't attack her or defend yourself, you can talk sense to her later, for now you need to get her to turn around and come back. Once she is done being super mad, then we can get her to see your side.
I know you must be in a lot of pain, and this is a very dark time, but hang in there ... have hope that things can get better, ok? I am sorry that things between you and W have deteriorated this badly, but trust me and give this a try, you have nothing to lose.
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Any advise or opinion is welcomed. I'm lost again.

Saw the kids together and Wife still insistent on me showing her that I can handle all three boys. I am starting to see that it is not me, but her having separation issues. But of course she still blames me for the break up and I am the reason they left. I was mean and not nice verbally. I bet she'll even say verbal abuse now to make her feel better. Wonder what else she'll freaken say as time goes on. I swear the people she is speaking to or guiding her on this journey sleep well because they have their family and kids under the same roof.