Thank you all so very much! I truly appreciate the support. I feel so lost. I am stressed and need to stop myself. I do feel like my own worst enemy because I am out of control with my emotions. Do I apologize to her for last night? I said things that I don't really want - like leave if you are not happy here. I know she is hurting. I don't know if there is another man. I do believe she is not in love me with me. I do believe people can fall back in love. I do not want to give up. I don't know if she will now leave. I tried to get her to explain herself. I tried to get her to tell me what I have done that is so terrible that it is not worth fixing. She replied "I can't pinpoint anything. I just feel we are done. She said I don't give her the warm fuzzy feelings anymore. This made me think that someone is giving her those feelings. I asked her if the reel was another man. She said no (I don't know if I believe her). I asked to see her phone to see who she was texting. She said she is not showing me her phone. I told her she can look through mine because I have nothing to hide. She said she doeant want to look at mine. She came close to leaving to go to her moms house. The kids and I were crying and asked her to stay. She decided to stay, but I dont know what she will ultimately do. She had previously asked me to leave and I told her that will not help us. To me, separating will be a step closer to D. I will worry that she is with another. I worry that she will find that she is happier without me. I am insecure right now. I broke rules and pleaded that love is not constant in a long term marriage and that it ebbs and flows. That we can learn to communicate better and we can learn to love again. I truly feel we can come out stronger. I know what changes I need to make. I am struggling though.
