Thanks KML, Mleigh, ForeverYoung and BrightFuture- your posts helped me and in so many different ways.
BrightFuture- when I said I found it hard to age gracefully in this beach community of CA., I just meant that there is so much cosmetic work being done here. Women on the east coast are probably also being cut from eyes to thighs but people hit the beach here more and so you see it more.
I am feeling better and stronger these days. This weekend I tidied up the house which needed it. I know you are all groaning with boredom over this. But the point is twofold: post depression my energy is increasing in spurts and I am slowly returning to myself. I used to hate clutter and was naturally tidy. I became the opposite in depression. I didn't start living with 30 cats or anything but I was messy in strange new ways. I had empty bottles I wasn't throwing away! Was I too tired to toss them or was I on my way to becoming a hoarder? It felt amazing to have the energy to begin to get organized again!
Most noteworthy items on H front: H initiated going out as a family with another family we used to hang out with and he texted from grocery store to ask if I needed anything.
Is it out of guilt or is it a genuine wake up to the world? Who knows? But it was one less trip I had to make so I was happy.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
