Could this be a MLC?

[HaWho]

Hi Haunted- sorry you find yourself here, but you are in very good hands.

The advice you are receiving is very wise. In the beginning you can't always see that because you are so shocked by all that has happened and the advice is oftentimes counterintuitive to what you want to do.

With that said, just to re-affirm some of what you have already been told, detaching is the key. No one can tell you exactly how to do this as there is no silver bullet.

For me, what helped me to distance was the realization that this alien my H had turned into was not the guy to whom I even wanted to be married. So, why bother pursuing him?

Read everything you can about MLC and then keep re-reading. You do need to distance yourself from H for your own sanity and so that he can begin to isolate the variables of his life to begin to assess what makes him unhappy. If you are contacting him it will remind him of him of how he does not have those feelings for you and it may convince him further that you are the source of his unhappiness. However, if you are not contacting him and he is still unhappy, which he will be, then he is forced to start figuring out the roots of his unhappiness.

This is hard with kids in tow. Work on taking care of yourself and being a good mom.

When you do have contact with your H be kind to him as later on they do remember how they were treated. Plus, your kid/kids are watching!

Post a lot as the veterans will lead you.