have I been making mistakes too long part3

[tkdmme]

I can tell she has been drinking heavily tonight. She is slurring and her eyes can't focus. I love her and hope she is ok. I have disabled her car in the past when she is like this. I'm not going to do it this time. I'm not responsible for her anymore. Like so many of you have said, she has fired me as her husband. I'm not her care taker anymore.

I've done plenty wrong. I can no longer worry about what she does.

[WhyUs]

My wife did the same thing. Worst thing I did was pick her up from the bar. i should have let her drive and called the cops. At least I would have my children tonight.

[tkdmme]

Yea. Your right. My family and her brother said that if we divorce I could probably get the kids. I'm a drinker but she has a real problem. I've carried her out of every bar in the southeast. She used to embarras me every where we went.

[PigPen]

What do you think about knocking off the booze while your situation is going on tkd?

Would make it very clear to the courts, your kids, and yourself that you're making some very powerful changes.

[mutatio]

I have the same struggles as you tkdmme. My wife shuts down and looks so depressed when I'm around her. Whats hurts is if I leave the room and one of my kids or the dog engages her she perks back up. I've become jealous of the dog.

My wife just moved into a separate bedroom of the house also. Do you think that your wife is trying to create more distance between you two as a stepping stone to moving out? I'm asking because I see a lot of similarities between our to stories. My wife has also stopped wearing her wedding ring. Has your wife made that choice?

Sandi2 if you could visit to my thread I would like to get your feedback on a question I have about my wifes EA/PA. Thanks. Please forgive me for that tkdmme.

[Huddy]

Two things. She won't go because of guilt. That's that. Secondly, show an example and keep off the booze. You need to stay sharp and focused.

[tkdmme]

Yes she stopped wearing her ring. As far as moving out, I don't know. She said she was moving out 3 weeks ago but has done nothing about it

Yep I'm in the same boat. She seems happy when she is doing anything that doesn't involve me. It really hurts. I don't know what to do. I'm just trying to follow these rules. That's extremely hard too. I don't know what the future holds but for now it looks like things will never turn around between me and W.

[Huddy]

Ok, get out of that mindset. Been there and it doesn't look pretty to your W. It's difficult but you have got to think confident and not worried.

[tkdmme]

PigPen,

After the BD we agreed to stop drinking for three months and go to counseling. She dropped out of counseling after 3 weeks and she hid booze at the neighbor's house during this time. any time I wasn't home or was busy around the house, she would sneak to the neighbor's house and dink. She would come home stinking and drunk and swear that she had not been drinking. THis infuriated me. I tried to continue my part of the deal. I am still going to the counselor however I started drinking again. You are correct. I need to get sober and stay that way. It is very hard considering there is always booze in the house and she is always drinking.

Huddy,

What exactly do you mean about getting out of that mind set? Are you referring to the post about getting custody of the kids? If so, I understand and would never want to take the kids from their mother. She is a good mom and does a good job with them.

[Huddy]

No, the 'we'll never get back together' mindset. How is that being confident? Do you see what I mean? You've got to look like you don't care and have begun to see that moving on is possible, not desireable, but possible.

The best place for the booze is down the plughole. Don't delay, get it done. Actions!