We are. We just are. I'm supposed to go be happy and enjoy my life now. Knowing I left someone to die.
You need to get yourself together and really focus here. You did not leave anyone to die. You should just take that thought right out of your Head NOW. I know you have a tendency to spin out when the really emotionally tough stuff happens. We all do, and this is up there in the hard stuff. But you to regroup and just take the above thought and know it is not your leaving someone to die.
When I post to you, I want you to know it's from experience. I have been through what you have been through. I understand what you are feeling because I've been there. My mother did die of her addiction. And I lived with the guilt as a 21 year old thinking it was my fault. My aunt( her sister). And I were talking about it today. She went through all the " what if's" on things my aunt could have done. And we both agreed we did not LET her die. It was not our faults. You cannot take on that burden. Iits unhealthy for you and for your daughters.
My ex is in my daughters life. Every other weekend and one night a week. And his vacation week. He's more of an uncle than a father and is not involved in raising her. Just watching her. So, while not quite the same, I feel that stress since she was a baby of raising her alone. I feel soley responsible for the woman she becomes and what she does with her life. Yeah. It's scary and ii get overwhelmed at times. But I know I can do this. Just like you can.
Mourn what you need to mourn. But control only the things that you can. And the only thing you can control is you.
