Too angry right now

[ohgosh]

Thanks.
In the past this high level of stress would cause me to push her further away by sending a ton of angry texts.
Not today.
I'm not going to allow these states of exasperation and sadness to push her further away.
Even though in my mind I already lost and I got nothing to lose, I remember she still loves me but is angry and afraid of getting hurt by me again. Reacting to her in anger or intensity is more of the same.
Tomorrow I go back to my city for a day and a half before my retreat. I will not see her even if she asks (though I know she won't) and simply sort out the practicalities without leaving anything behind.

Getting a bit tired now, sleep is temporary bliss.