Oh my God. I KNOW pot alone is not killing him. I get it.
He has a disease called alcoholism. He has been at it for most of his 49 years. The disease has progressed like diseases do without tx. Pot is his drug of choice, but he uses everything when he smokes pot, especially booze. Throw in a heavy dose of depression and denial and you get a dead Matt.
I realize I'm going to have to let it go and move forward. But, I just saw the walking dead in a man I love with all my heart and I can't save him. My children have no father. My oldest daughter saw her father and thought he had cancer. My husband is killing himself and I have to divorce his a$$ and move on and save myself and, right or wrong, it hurts like fuucccing hell to leave someone who is obviously very sick.
I will get through it. But, I had to to say in a court of law I was cutting the cord even though he is clearly sick.
It hurts. And, it doesn't matter if it's the grass or the coke--which I'm sure is a factor... It's on me to provide and parent. I can't count on him. He is not there. The man I knew is dead because he is choosing to kill himself. And the family that still loves him has to walk away to save ourselves.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
