have I been making mistakes too long part3

[tkdmme]

When I said I didn't think it would bother me I was thinking in a selfish manner. I have never been in this situation so please forgive me for being emotional.

Some days I think Ive got it liked and she is going to come around. And other days I have these "pity parties".
My father was verbal and physically abusive to me and would beat me if ever cried about anything. I thought I had developed the skills to not let anything bother me to the point of crying.

I feel like a failure why I cry and can hear my father calling me a girl or something to that effect.

The W is still sleeping. We usually go to church together. I'm not sure what will happen today.