Anxiously waiting for it to fall apart

[dejavu2]

Actually had a "normal" conversation with H yesterday.
After I found out about smom passing on Friday, I had text H to let him know plans, he said he would call me later. I was exhausted and told him, I was going to bed as it had been a long emotional day. He called on Saturday and actually was NORMAL. He started off with empathy, listened to my ramblings, offered support and gave me a ton of suggestions on logistics. (I had already worked out all my logistics, but could tell it was important to him to have his say so I just kept comments to myself). I sent him follow up text thanking him for support and the final funeral arrangements.
I really appreciated the virtual hug and know I may not get another one for a long time.