new here

[asitis]

Have you read the chapter on overcoming infidelity in DR yet? If not, you really need to.

If you look back a few pages, you'll pick up that most or all of us were urging you to consider drawing a boundary here as long as OW is in the picture. Let him plead and beg and talk. You aren't winning him back by sleeping with him. That hasn't worked, so why keep doing it. If he threatens to turn to others, that is not a very serious threat because he already has and you are no worse off if he does. It is he who must change his behavior if he wants you to continue to work on your R, not you.

Stand firm. Remember, his threats are empty: he is a WH. You've lost him already (at least for now) & he shows no signs of reform or true return to work on the R. If you hope for him to come back, you've got to try something new and different. This is your 180.

Be strong. Truth be told, must of us were probably wanting to tell you that sleeping w/ him is a really bad idea in much stronger terms, but we knew that approach wouldn't work and you might run off in resistance. We knew you had to come to see this on your own. But, I think you will hear the relief when those same folks come check in on your sitch and see this new development.

It will be hard. We all want a little coffee from time to time. Give yourself permission to care for yourself a bit extra to help your way through the struggle.