Zelda - Baby One More Time

[Vanilla]

I am going to discuss forgiveness. In my opinion when a great wrong is done, when we are abused, deliberately hurt and damaged. Targeted. We have a choice not to forgive and it is a valid choice. We need not forgive, it isn't mandated.

I believe this, some sins are unforgivable.

Having said that, the element which is destructive is that which creates resentment and revenge. I wish my WH well, I hope he has everything to make him whole. I fear he won't but I want that for him. I don't want revenge, I would prefer fairness and justice.

There is enormous trauma in my world and the origin is WH. I do not forgive him but I will not be bitter.

I still say "I will not be abused" to myself. I find it strong and healing.

The dreams I have are lucid too, sometimes slightly comic but hurtful and embedded in trauma. The psychologist I saw said trauma dreams are better than the flashbacks. I have had those too, flashbacks, space outs and mild hallucinations. The dreams are at least more containable even if uncomfortable.

V