Not Confused Anymore 2!!!

[Joe46]

I come from the wake up school, stiff upper and all that. Do the time if you do the crime. Fog and MLC are addicted behaviours.

I struggle with seeing bad behaviour as mental illness,

V, I also believe in this. Since I am a recovering alcoholic, I am familiar with addictions. But we all still have choices. I made the choice NOT to drink anymore and do the work to stay sober. WW made the choice to lie, cheat and steal. She could have stopped and got help. She could have said we both need to go to counseling. She could have found a forum such as this to try and save her marriage just like our wonderful friend Sandi did.

OPs are often deceived too, affairs aren't always 'fog' but sheer damn selfishness and easy.

I also have thought of this. I was deceived also when I met WW. She told me she was divorced. I know for a fact that she was separated for several years. But just found out a few years ago that she was actually divorced until we had been together 2 years. This time she began a new relationship while still married and pretending everything was fine. Her OM could very well be lied to by her also.

There is no doubt in my mind that WH will move on, whether he has regrets or concerns, is his responsibility, mine is to heal and grow, and to make damn sure that I am WH bullet proof. I don't get hoovered back in with fake promises. Fool me once........

I feel the same way. V, you and I are both better off!! It is hard for us to see that before, but I believe that now. When I found this house in town to rent and the nice people to rent from, there was something in the back of my mind that said maybe God has a plan that I don't know about. I believe God saw what was happening and took me down this road. Because I found this house in town and because I have a great boss to work for and a wonderful community and friends, I am in the best position to care for my children. To be the Custodial parent.

Your WW as you describe it has returned to her roots, to be near her family. Are you aware of any previous connection with this OM? Or has he moved to be near WW. From another location? Is his D with him permanently?

WW did return to her roots. But has had little contact with her family. According to stepson, she has only been there a couple times. Which is sad because her mom is very sick. I am not aware of any previous relationship with OM. Nor do I care. This all started after I found the links to the online dating site on her computer. She moved very close to where he lives. I have no idea what his situation is other than D12 said he was divorced. But who really knows!! There are so many lies being told, maybe he is cheating on his wife. Maybe I will get a call from his wife one day. I am don't know about the situation with his daughter. I am sad for her. Kids are the innocent victims in all this. To be honest, like I have said before, he can have WW. She is his problem now!!!

It feels so good to have my kids home. I am sad for S7 because he really misses his mom. I am setting up a appointment with counselor so I can talk with both kids and do it the right way. I will be explaining that I am filing divorce and I will also be explaining why. I will not bash their mother. But they need to know that I am divorcing because she left me to live with OM while we were still married. I have done alot of reading on this and I believe kids need to know the truth about why I am filing for divorce. They will always love their mom and I will always encourage that. I have no intentions of keeping them from her. But they need to know right from wrong. This is wrong. As they get older, they will be able to make up their own minds about the situation. But it won't be based on lies from me. Or me hiding the truth!