Summer of Growth and Acceptance - Part 2

[Painter]

I'm so sorry. But I''m glad you're finding out at a time where you have achieved relative calm. You're so much better equipped to handle it at this point.

You have many ways to go here... I know that I could get OW in trouble with her job - she has used her government e-mail account to perpetuate an affair - but I have left it alone, because I believe she's out of the picture at this time. H has done things in connection with work travel that makes him very vulnerable, but I don't want to cut off the branch I'm sitting on (if he leaves me or I divorce him for an A, I'm entitled to spousal support).

What kind of proof do you have? Is your H prone to denying? Do you and H work for the same company?

If I were you, I would consult with a L at this point. You need to know your rights and obligations. I wouldn't move his stuff until after that.

You could of course pack his clothes and personal effects in a suitcase and take it over to OW's office, plop it down on her desk and walk back out... Daylight tends to take a lot of fun out of an A. That would be tempting for me... but I have a twisted sense of humor.

If you decide to kick H out and separate finances (the two things I would prioritize at this point), I would do it with less anger and more sadness. I don't mean the crying kind, but I would show H calmly that you feel sad that he has made these choices and forced you to protect yourself.