Anyway - I love her and miss her, feel bad for all the tough times we went through but know within my heart that if we get a second chance I will do everything to make it work.. Which I know is where I am at due to the situation I am in. When I 'have her', I start to appreciate her less - how does one overcome this?
Do you mean that you took her for granted in the past & are worried you will do so again? Or do you mean that you miss her like crazy when you are apart, but when you spend time w/ her it wears off?
Either way don't worry about it. You just worry about GAL and detaching slowly & surely. That's all you can do. You'll deal w/ the reconciliation process if & when the time comes.
You also seem to like to take more responsibility for the failure of your M than is healthy or accurate. It really is a partnership, & both parties contributed. Yes, you may have done things which hurt her, and you should and have owned up to those and been working on yourself. But, she was also unskilled & has chosen this path rather than sticking it out & trying to really work on it. Since I've started w/ cliche's: It takes two to tango.
Instead of looking at the things you did wrong, start looking at how you were and what you did right that attracted her to you in the first place. There are clues there & it is useful to see these at this stage of the process. Also, what in the M did she appreciate about you? Not that you don't take in new info or have insights about problems, but you need to balance that (or right now, even overbalance) w/ seeing what you did right.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
I mean that I took her for granted and worried I'll do it again.
I agree with what you said about failures.
I think what attracted her to me is that I focus a lot of energy on improving myself (or sometimes do), have a lot of calm and perspective at times and can be very stable and balanced when I put my effort and energy there, she also really liked that I thought she is an amazing person and reflected that back to her as she is quite insecure about herself (unrightly so).
Me: 29, wife: 29 Been together 6 years. Married June 13 (2years) Separation: 22/6/15 W stopped wearing wedding ring 30/6/15
Regarding the "plans" discussion, I think it's Cali that uses the "seriously?" Line followed by a short laugh and a goodbye when the W gets too nosy. May be worth trying that so you don't get into an argument about where you are and why you won't tell her exactly what you're up to.
As for today, do something for yourself today. See a movie, cook a nice dinner, ANYTGING that you've been wanting to do but haven't.
Yeah I went to Scotland this weekend with friends and its beautiful. I still think of her and miss her 98% of the time but it helps. I realise it's my mind, attachment and not her - only helps slightly though.
Me: 29, wife: 29 Been together 6 years. Married June 13 (2years) Separation: 22/6/15 W stopped wearing wedding ring 30/6/15
Yeah I went to Scotland this weekend with friends and its beautiful. I still think of her and miss her 98% of the time but it helps. I realise it's my mind, attachment and not her - only helps slightly though.
That's ok. Shoot for 97% tomorrow.
See if you can go 5 minutes without thinking of her.
Second day of no contact at all. Yesterday she texted me something short and practical and that's it.
Really hard, first thought when I wake up in the morning is 'wtf'.
How could she give up our partnership, our love.
I know I can survive this perfectly well, but at times I just don't want to.
Feels like living in a bad nightmare. A bizarre game in which we're both pretending to break up. Well, at least I'm pretending and she seems more real. Feh.
So should I aim to not initiate any contact at all unless necessary? Not meet at all unless necessary? We pretty much ran out of practical reasons to see each other so now everything can be solved by text.
Me: 29, wife: 29 Been together 6 years. Married June 13 (2years) Separation: 22/6/15 W stopped wearing wedding ring 30/6/15
