Not Confused Anymore 2!!!

[Vanilla]

I come from the wake up school, stiff upper and all that. Do the time if you do the crime. Fog and MLC are addicted behaviours.

I struggle with seeing bad behaviour as mental illness, I read around and I sense a great deal of non Christain thought on other boards, expose the affair, it's good for OMs W or OW H to know, they deserve to know. Tell their bosses etc, embarrass the children, make them a target for bullies.

We aren't all in middle class Christain communities with religious leaders who back the wronged spouse. What worries me even more is the stand up be a man, lay down the law etc, or be a woman get sexy that's the issue etc. The world has moved on from those days, dads are often the better parent, OPs are often deceived too, affairs aren't always 'fog' but sheer damn selfishness and easy. Spouses acting in this way, act in this way because they can, and it isn't that we 'let' them or don't stop them or don't have boundaries.

There is no doubt in my mind that WH will move on, whether he has regrets or concerns, is his responsibility, mine is to heal and grow, and to make damn sure that I am WH bullet proof. I don't get hoovered back in with fake promises. Fool me once........

I don't have kids, and having children I think that makes a sitch so much harder, WW will be in your kids life forever, and hence in yours. Your WW has moved far away to avoid the flack, I suspect she knew it would happen. There isn't any way the 'get tough' and 'tough love' policies will happen, when the wayward just goes waywarding away to another location. It was absolutely clear to me that Joe was a loving man, a great dad and close to his stepchildren too. Your WW is missing out on a great deal and that is her choice to endure the consequences of her action. To go all that way to be with someone from the Internet is crazy, so part of it must be to escape from repercussions where she is.

That is WH, he hasn't nested here in this location, so he poops as he likes and then moves on to do it again. All I can do is say thank God he has moved on and smile for relief he no longer comes by. I am allowed to rebuild my life. It is surprising how the love and support from those around me is flowing my way. Suddenly there are stories emerging of bad behaviour. I don't have to be subject to it any more although I hear much. There is a relief in distance for me, although the wayward avoids self responsibility if they move away. For my WH there are no consequences and this reinforces that his behaviour works for him. There are hundreds of villages here, he won't run out of targets.

I think the days of calling an A out to heal an M are gone for most Sitches. If it works sometimes that great, as for me, I can't believe in lies, the truth is important.

Your WW as you describe it has returned to her roots, to be near her family. Are you aware of any previous connection with this OM? Or has he moved to be near WW. From another location? Is his D with him permanently?

V