Sotto my fear is repeating this cycle again too. currently we are technically cheating on OW every time we ML. It may be only a few times a month but it is still happening. I think that may be part of my detatchment problem. Just like Zeus said he argues passionatly with me hugs me and we ML pay bills the same blah blah so the only thing different is affection and he is with someone else too.
the groups are once a week but they are an hour away. I will be asking IC for information or suggestions on something a little closer. 2 hours round trip for an hour meeting I am not convinced it worth it especially if I have to pay for the meeting too. I will keep searching though. I am trying to find something online also. I am continuing to read CD no more.
I am fearful of digging deep inside of me because I am sure I am a monster deep inside of there with so many problems I may never even touch the surface of fixing them.
I am coming to a realization the more reading I do the more I understand why H chose the path he is on. I am a horrible partner with a ton of problems!
