Not Confused Anymore 2!!!

[Joe46]

Little S seems much more confused even though he is younger, you may need to check in and listen loads when he needs it and of course the mandatory hugs. Dads have two ears and one mouth, used in the correct ratio. I wouldn't leave it Joe, start off with pictures of Yellowstone and ask what his favourite things are then lead gently into his feelings about the trip. Validate, validate and hugs. Be still with him and do a quiet activity, art perhaps. Then think if the children visit WW again can you build an activity pack for S to take so he can enjoy his own company. That's being prepared for blah.

Thank you V. I am paying some extra attention to S7 but not too much that D12 feels left out. She is entering 7th grade. Her focus is school and school activities and most important, her friends. WW has always had more focus on S7. Spoils him. Now with him not understanding what she is doing, WW is able to bribe and manipulate him. This is why it was easy for her to have OM there and OM's daughter. OM daughter and my son played together and WW was living in her fairy tale world!! I can see the struggles in all my kids. But I am seeing the younger ones every day. They talk to me different. But I am hoping the bond I have with them will help us through. S7 and I will always have that father son bond. No OM can take that from me! D12 knows she is daddy's girl! She will tolerate certain things from WW, but knows this is the safe, stable environment.

I had lawyer change separation to divorce. I also had him put in there for her to pay child support. I changed some of the visitation so it is in state unless she can prove that she is not conducting phone sex while my children are with her. If she can prove she is not doing that work, than she can have visitation in CA. But I changed some things so I get my time in the summer also.

I felt a bit guilty changing to divorce. I felt bad for my kids. I look at them sometimes and want to break down and cry for them. I know the pain they are going through. I hope one day they will understand why I did what I did. I WILL NOT share my wife with OM. He can have her! The past 2 weeks, things were starting to click about this whole situation. She has been involved with this guy for along time. I have read on here where some people feel sympathy for their spouse because they are in this affair "fog". I feel no sympathy for her. I have read where lots of spouses went out to seek help before things got to far. They made a choice to not do the wrong thing. There is talk about how lost these wayward spouses are. My STBXW is VERY lost! There is NO road back home.

I keep getting texts from STBXW about keeping her informed on the school calendar so she can come up on the long weekends and be with the kids. I don't care if she wants to come up. She is a big girl. She can look on the school website and read the calendar. So I just ignore the texts. She may not like being up here now that she is exposed as a adultress. That is what happens when you bring your 12 year old daughter out there to stay with you and your affair partner. She tells her friends, who tell their parents who tell their friends. Small towns!! Gotta love em!! Another lady here did the same thing and destroyed her 3 sons lives. She was completely ignored by everyone at a track meet when she showed up. Also was fired from her job and so was the guy she was sleeping with. In my case, I have had alot of support from the people in the community. They feel terrible for all the kids. They have watched all the older ones grow up and are now watching these younger ones.

Well that is my post for today. That has been building up for the past couple days.