I am in month 6 of this nightmare. I know how hard it is not to call or text her when she goes out. My W went out of town to see a friend about 2 months after the BD. I called her 23 times in a row only to have her send me to voice mail each time. Do yourself a favor and let go. I know how hard it is. Its not like ive been a master at this. But the fact is, you cant control her.
I read on somewhere in this forum that you have to accept that the marriage you had is dead and long gone. The only chance we have is to build a brand new marriage from the ground up. I am working hard to control my emotions but just about every morning I wake up sick and cry my way through a shower before going to work. Its hard to look at the kids without becoming emotional. This is completely normal.
Keep you chin up and only let her see a happy and confident you. As bad as it hurts she is going to do anything she wants at this point and there is nothing you can do to stop her.
It is going to get annoying hearing the same advise over and over. And its advise that you don't want to hear. The only way to bring her back is to follow the rules perfectly. You will mess up. The important thing is to keep working at it. YOu will have days when you think you have a grip on it only to wake the next day feeling awful again. But sooner or later those awful days will become less and less.
I know none of this helps you feel better right now because I was there. When I joined this forum, I read and read and nothing made me feel better. Now its starting to sink in.
Keep posting and reading. You will get through this in time.
M:39 W:40 S:10 S:7 D:12 BD:3/5/15 Separate BR:3/5/15 W moved out with kids 1/3/16
