Looking for advice and comfort

[PT33]

Cali- I really do hope that she can heal from the hurt that I caused her by my mistakes. We were so happy and good together. I have learned and grown from all my mistakes. Its too bad she won't give me a chance to show her this. No sulking here, I already did that. I can only control and change myself for the better. I see what your saying is that everything happens for a reason basically. I wouldnt have made these changes if this didnt happen.

Zephyr-I have been showing her the last month when we were still living together and I saw some improvements. but it was like anytime she felt herself softening she closed back up. She has been going to therapy and she has said it has helped with her anger. She is also learning to deal with her severe anxiety better. I think I am doing good with the validating and listening (I used to interrupt and defend myself a lot). I hope that she is starting to see me as welcoming. I dont know how to continue you this because I dont know how often I will see her now that she has moved back to LA (hour away).

Wonka-I admire your courage to stand up for yourself, I wish I would have done the same thing instead of being so passive. Maybe I wouldnt have lost my wife.

Thank you all for your advice and support! I need a plan....do things change now that I have to sign divorce papers? (she has told me a few times when I asked her if we have to do this, she said that maybe this is why CA has a "6 month cooling off period" before its final) Just continue to focus on myself I assume. Kinda the theme I have read in other threads.