Few Questions From. Newbie

[late30s]

I'm certainly no no vet, but I can relate to your question ... a lot.

Her going to the bar. I understand feeling jealous. I have been horrible with mine. What I had to work on for me and I think it may help you as well. Your feelings are okay, even the "negative" ones. It's how we act on those feelings that can be the problem. I had to reach a point where I was able to accept that my wife is her own person and I have no right to try to control where she goes, or punish her if she comes home late. I'm not her father.

The other side of that argument is the disrespect from her. It will be far easier on you if you can accept that is her issue and you only have control over your reactions to your feelings.

It took me a long time to get to this point. It is difficult to change those behaviors, all we can do is plant the seed in our heads and work actively to make them habit. I decided some time ago I didn't like my jealous reactions. Not because it hurt my marriage or my wife, but because that isn't the kind of person I want to be.

I hope that was helpful. I'm sorry to see you here, but you will find many wonderful people here. Good luck and God bless.