We all have expectations even when we tell ourselves over and over not to. If you have the thought that I shouldn't have an expectation because of that, you already do or you wouldn't have that thought. Don't beat yourself up for that. It is better to acknowledge, that you have a bit and so you can keep it from driving your reactions.

On the retreat: don't worry about W. Don't worry about being away from her. You already are away from her in a very real sense. Your focus needs to be on you. This is a long journey, 10 days is a drop in the bucket, and you have no idea what the impact of those 10 days will be on your W either way. And you will miss her. While you're gone, take steps to really disconnect. If you can, turn your phone off and stow it.

Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15