One thing I can add to this is;

Stop begging her and overwhelming her by "hovering" over her..

Focus on what you need to do for yourself, prepare!

Become a better person, by going to church, going to the gym, taking care of yourself, etc.

Good luck and keep posting, it will help you!

M35 W33 S14 D12
M14
ILYBNILWY 07/14
BD 7/14
S 5/15

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"