Looking for advice and comfort

[PT33]

Really it was only with work I am out every where else. I have dealt with this in therapy and now I understand why I had such a hard time. I am a physical therapist so I see a lot of people a day and I just didn't feel like being judged. I see my pt.'s a lot and I didn't want things to be awkward or uncomfortable at work because I spend so much time there. My wifes motto is who cares what they think, but thats just not how I was. I should have gone and talked to a counselor when we first got engaged. I guess I should go into why I was like that...wonka I am sure u can relate some. Gay people have not always been as accepted as they have been recently. When I was discovering who I was when I was in college it was back in 2002, obviously not as bad as it was in 50's, 60's, 70s, 80s, but there are still ignorant people out there. I played basketball in college and I lost my starting spot when my coach found out I was gay. Some of my teammates were pretty horrible. One of them told their dad and he told my dad. My dad basically disowned me and told me I needed psychological help. My mom also came out in later life and what I learned from her was dont ask dont tell basically.

Anyways I have overcome this with therapy. She thinks I was hurting her purposely because I didnt do anything about it over the last 3 yrs. I was stuck I just wanted her to understand and for it to go away. Well obviously that was the wrong approach. She has always been the number one priority in my head I just didnt show it like I should have. I think it may not have caused as many problems, but my has had this happen in past relationships. I love her so much and I always felt so proud to have her by my side. I felt like the luckiest person in the world and I always to her that.