I can not relate to this part of your sitch ... Thankfully Wonka, Diff, Heavy are on this board and can relate and add some insight (I desperately have applied into the club but have yet to get my membership card approved... old joke between a long time friend who is lesbian and myself)
Thing I would like to add though ... feelings are just that....feelings, they are not right nor wrong, she feels how she feels. I can see if someone does not feel like they are #1, how it would make them form resentment/hurts/pain. You can not change the past .... like many of us here. A good response for this might be the go-to validations "I'm sorry you feel this way, I understand how hurtful that must have been. I would do many things differently in retrospect"
