I'm not surprised to come here and read that nothing has been done with regards to the lawyer, etc. They get miffed and state that they are going to do something and then it is swept under the rug in many instances. Your h is content w/the way things have been going...so why would he rock the boat?
The ow is "madly" in love w/your h, i.e., and wants a getaway to spend time w/him. She probably thinks he's so busy can't get away, so she comes to him or maybe the people in her life do not know about him and she wants to keep it that way. There could be all kinds of reasons why she would drive 3 hours to visit w/him.
I'm sorry about the visiting arrangements and she's there. He's not going to say anything to ruffle the ow's feathers. I hate to say this...but until she's out of his life, she's going to be there and either the kids don't go when she's there or they will have to find a way to deal w/her presence there. I know...it's not fair, but she's a part of his life right now and unfortunately, he's spineless won't say anything to her. BTW, he'll listen to what the kids say, but will tune it out the next time she comes to town.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
