I am guessing that the anxiety is likely a mix of a lot of things, the impending serving probably being a priority for the mind and heart. The mind attempting to anticipate every possible outcome. Your Wife's current supermom behaviour is likely to be unnerving you further still. I am not sure what has prompted your wife to take up these new actions, potentially she has picked up something in you, the environment and she feels something is different. As we know they adapt to the smallest of changes, even if they are unknown.
While you haven't said , I am sure that you are worried about your children and how your wife's behaviour will be impacting on them.
I hope a vet stops by to provide you with more solid support and guidance than I can offer.
With regard to your response, it sounds like a human one to me. I can see why you would be feeling anxious, angry, resentful about it. None of us like feeling usurped by someone who's behaviour who have little respect for, whose integrity we question. Don't beat yourself up for being human. Remember too that you have spent a long time keeping the home stable and secure for your children. We can all only keep it together for so long.
Be kind to yourself U, have patience with yourself, you have been through so much.
I am here, your friend, wishing you much love and comfort.
