Thank you so much for your reply. I am trying hard to detach from the situation. Demanding little toddlers are good distraction too.
Since the confession, he is totally avoiding me. He is never home when I am. He sleeps on the couch when he comes home in the morning.Since he works mainly in the evenings and I work during the day, he is the one watching the kids during the day.So he just comes home to watch the kids. We have a family wedding coming up next weekend. We had booked two nights to spend some extra time over there for sightseeing and such. Now this happened, I have no idea what his attitude will be and what my attitude should be.I even wonder if he will say he is not going?
He told me OW is one of the customers, who gave him her number. But I just found out that is not true. She is his coworker. He foolishly left his facebook logged in on our laptop (and her page!) so I saw messages exchanged between him and her. I don't know why he lied that part, but now that I know she is a coworker, it angers me that she started going out with him knowingly that he is married with kids. (He said the "customer" did not know he is married) She is probably younger than him and more "free spirited" who could go out with him late at night.But I am tyring to tell myself she is not worthy of my time and energy.
We have been married for 12 years this year. Even though he pursued me in the beginning, I know I have been the clingy one lately. I know I depend on him too much. So I know I have my own issues for this to work out, to be happy with myself. He is mostly nice and good dad, but sometimes he was careless/thoughtless towards me with his action (late night, lack of communication etc) However since the babies, he changed a lot and he grew up a lot, which I really appreciated. So I really didn't see this coming...
I know separation is not a good thing, but it's like we are already separated since we never see each other or talk. I have alwarys been the pushover who tries to please him and cries to him, I never ever want him to leave honestly. But I am starting to feel like I have no choice but to stand up and tell him to leave if he continues his A, not to be mean, but to be firm with him. I need his respect back, and to do that, I can not let this continue as he pleases. Letting go might make him notice that I am changing. As much as I am scared if it shall backfire, that might be the only way if we make it?
