Need advice for a WW who left Part 2

[dwh15]

Dwh,

That's some disclosure 2 more As, is this something you trust? Everybody knew? I doubt it. Though why would she tell friends. It's very odd behaviour to own up to, but my WH did the same, even showed others his online dating profile.

If you feel that there is truth there then is there any way to prove this? Intel not snooping.
V

I believe these friends of mine. They have no reason to lie, and one of the OM I had already strongly suspected. To hear them mention his name was the final confirmation I needed. The other one I had no idea about but they would have no reason to make up yet another man, on top of the known three. The reason W confessed to them is because she sort of got caught in the act of talking to one of the OM on the phone at her friends house. The very same friend I spoke with tonight. I never spoke of this before, but that same OM had actually called me years ago and told me he and WW had been having an A for 2 years. She denied it, and convinced me that he was crazy, which I eventually ended up believing. But enough different people have mentioned his name that I no longer have doubts.

It's a very sad tale, but the reality appears to be that my poor W has been seeking extra-marital comfort for nearly 5 years. I am positive of at least 3 men, have no reason to doubt a 4th, and given the history, would not be surprised that there were many more. I have no idea what changed in her to become this way. She certainly was nothing like this when we met and for the first several years of our M. Even these same friends I spoke with thought the same. At some point, it's as if she snapped, and has been living a secret life for a long time.

I just don't see how I can ever look beyond the years of betrayal and lies. I really do feel sorry for her, and care about her. I don't want to see her continue this path, which I fear ends up very badly for her, possibly even with her attempting to hurt herself. I want my children to have a mother and a good relationship with her. But I could never trust her again. I would be wondering where she went and who she was with every time she was out of sight. I could have forgiven a single OM, or in this case, even the two that I knew about. But this pattern of years indicates a serious underlying mental or moral issue, and I have no idea if it can ever be repaired. I will continue to be the best father I can be, as I am the only stable parent my kids have right now. And I know that I am going to be fine.