Yep Cali, I know I need to DB and just be me. I think I want to know more about MLC because it's like a lightbulb has gone off for me. The more I understand and keep the MLC in mind, label or not, it helps me to have more compassion for her as someone who is hurting, not someone who is out to deliberately hurt me. This makes me less likely to want to argue, say stupid things - you know, all the dumb stuff I've done and occasionally still do. I know that she HAS to go through this, that it would have happened no matter what I did or didn't do before we got to BD. Mentally, emotionally... this helps me, as far as focusing on me. Reminds me that this is mostly about her and my contributions to our R problems were no reason for all this to happen. She needs my detached love from afar, and my prayers.
This board is truly a godsend, though. I really don't know where I'd be without it. Will check out all the MLC threads here. Thanks a bunch, guys.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
